Growing up I thought I was Jewish. You can imagine my surprise when I found out I was in fact not Jewish, but Catholic, and that Peruvian little girls usually don’t spin the dreidel for Hanukkah.

It really wasn’t until I moved to Virginia and was thrown into a multi-cultural community that I really realized what it meant to be Peruvian. I know it seems kind of  ridiculous for me not to realize I’m Latina for that long, but it was my reality.

I had grown up in a mainly Jewish community in Maryland and went to a Jewish based pre-school. I learned all the songs and celebrated all the traditions.

The Peruvian side of my family lived in Virginia, so I didn’t see them very often. Moving to Annandale is what really made me realize and see the distinction between me and the kids I grew up with.

Being thrown into a town like Annandale where everyone is very aware of their culture made me want to find out more about my own. I began by paying more attention at family parties. I noticed how Peruvian culture had been snuck into my life in small ways like the food we ate, the music we listened to and how my aunts would sometimes switch to Quichua in the middle of their conversations.

With this I thought “Hey I definitely understand my Peruvian side: food, language, music; I’m covered.” But then I actually went to Peru, and that’s when it all changed.

It was like I wasn’t even Peruvian and everything I thought and knew was invalid. My family members would call me ‘gringa’ and I felt like everyone’s Spanish was incomprehensible; even the Peruvian food didn’t seem as delicious as I felt it was back home.

Although the landscape in some of the places I visited was gorgeous, I felt a disconnect. When I came back home to Annandale I was completely lost. I thought that I had no right to call myself Peruvian. And if I wasn’t Peruvian what was I?

I definitely wasn’t just American. As much as I feel like America is my home, I don’t identify with the wholesome American kind of image that is projected.

I struggled for quite a bit until I was at a family party (there are quite a few of those in a Peruvian family) and the song “Contigo Perú” came on. It’s basically a song about how awesome Peru is. I felt pride swell in my chest and I started dancing with my family.

I came to the conclusion that being Peruvian is something I feel, it is intangible. No, I was not born in Peru, but I am Peruvian.