Dear Natalie,

My boyfriend has been complaining that we do not spend enough time together every day. It is my junior year and I really need to focus and work hard in school but I don’t want to lose my boyfriend in the process of doing so. How do I balance my studies and show my boyfriend that I care at the same time?

—Torn

Dear Torn,

You need to find the right balance between your boyfriend and your studies. Hanging out with your boyfriend is more appealing and fun, but doing your school work overall is more important. It is great that you are recognizing that you need to focus and work hard in school because this is your junior year so you need to push and work as hard as you can. However, this does not mean you have to shut your boyfriend out of your life and not give him any time.

Try to schedule your days so that you have time to do both your schoolwork and hang out with you boyfriend. Right after school get to work on homework and then when you are finished you can go hang out with him. If some days are heavier on homework than others it’s okay. You guys don’t need to see each other every day of the week. In fact, it’s better to space out the time you spend together.

If you are really busy during the week and cannot see him, give him a phone call instead of a text so that you can hear each others voices. If he does not understand why you can’t make time to see him, you need to let him know that you care for him but that you need to get your school work done so that you can get a good grade. If he truly cares for you and wants you to succeed he will understand and enjoy the time that you do have together.

—Natalie

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