The loo, the restroom, the washroom, the bathroom; each name is generally descecrated when made public. No matter how demure bath tissue ads may seem, defecation is never a pleasant subject, especially when high school boys are involved. To counteract this stereotype by supporting another (and to avoid the ground floor athletes’ bathrooms), the following directions are to guide females in their trips to you-know-where.

Corner Closet

With a mirror stationed so its onlooker’s back is directly facing the doorway, this location is not ideal for the vain (perhaps administrators had input the location upon its construction for this very reason?). Here there are three small stalls and one very large, as well as one exposed commode for the more confident and comfortable patron and another stall with its seat resting on the ground for the strong quad-muscled. All are well-equipped with sanitary trashcans and each of the six separate sinks has its own soap dispenser. Because it is by the mysterious caged-off portion of AHS, the CC (Corner Closet) is not easily entered. The unluckier boys must fight traffic at the intersection of the language and auxiliary gym hallways, but the difficulty of its entrance avails a perfect once-over in its exposed mirror for passersby.

Language Lavatory

Located across from the elevator, on the ramp side. Not for the germaphobic. Sinks are reminiscent of Roman bath houses, with two faucet buttons and a single spigot. The standard and handicap stalls both have open, office-style sanitary trashcans and the mirror faces the hall. Accessibility is reduced (a.k.a. expunged) when AHS students turn European on their trek down the language hall and choose not to walk on the right, or when the ramp is understandably used by teachers with carts or students with disabilities.

Private Privy

In the seldom-visited alcove of the social studies hallway, there lies a capacious but scantily-stalled b-room with one currently* functioning toilet. The handicapped bowl is covered in black tarp and the stall is locked, but the regular stall is fully functioning and equipped with sanitary trashcan. The PP (Private Privy) has the best mirror on the upper floor as it is fully concealed. There are two separate sinks and soap dispensers. But beware — more space and fewer stalls, as well as an ideal place for powdering one’s nose can make for awkward encounters, so polish your small talk.

Jock John

Across from the auxiliary gym, next to the health rooms, and is the second largest in capacity only to the six-stall CC. Five stalls (four small and one big) each with its own sanitary trash can. There are six separate sinks/soap dispensers and when looking into the mirror the hallway is visible over the right shoulder. The Jock John is the perfect alternative to braving the actual Jock Lobby or gym locker room bathrooms below it, and is the only option near the upstairs math hallway. Availability is an ‘A+’ because of the typically vacant hall.

*Bathroom conditions are subject to change; clearly the AHS custodial staff works very hard to maintain cleanliness and functionality, but over 2000 students means a lot of use!

Fact Box:

AHS female demographic** = 1, 243

Number of student bathrooms = 13

Number of second floor bathrooms = 4

Second floor bathroom seating capacity = 15

**According to the 2010-11 FCPS School Profile