Pro:

When it comes to relationships, there’s no better time to experiment than in high school. I mean, the real experimental age comes in college, right? but high school gets you a good head start. I wouldn’t suggest seeking one out, but if it falls in your lap, who are you to deny it?

First, you enter the beloved “talking stage”. It can be confusing and you’re not really together, yet intentions have been set and you’re just getting to know each other. What a beautiful time…learning everything you can about another person and sharing a part of yourself at the same time. Who doesn’t love that feeling of waking up in the morning and getting ready all with the hope of seeing that one person in the halls? The uncertainty and excitement of a budding relationship are unmatched.

 The good part comes next, that is, of course, after you have that fateful conversation that affirms you’re actually a couple.  If you choose right, you now have a built-in best friend to endure the confusing and stressful high school experience with. 

Romance, dates, and puppy love are all included in the package. If you’re lucky enough to find someone you like around here, don’t pass it up because you might’ve just hit the lottery, you never know. The rollercoaster that is a high school romance is unlike any other. You don’t have any of the worries of adult life but are still able to enjoy all of the valuable experiences and lessons that come with a relationship.

 And let’s not forget about how this will help you out in the future. These relationships help teens develop healthier, stronger, and longer-lasting relationships well after high school. The earlier you learn how to treat a partner with respect and care, the better. 

I hate to break this to you all but keep in mind that the point of a high school relationship should never be to stay together forever. That’s just setting yourself up for disappointment and defeats the whole purpose. The point is to make memories, be vulnerable, and get to know someone you care about on a deeper level.

 Listen…it’s not a red flag if you were never in a relationship in high school, but you definitely missed out. You know, they may not be your soulmate but who cares? You’re young, it is high school after all.

Con:

High school is a time of discovering yourself, growing up, and tackling new experiences. Many take this to mean exploring the tricky world of high school relationships. Many desire to be in a relationship. Many are in one. Love is in the air at Annandale High School. No, wait, that’s asbestos.

What are the odds of finding your soulmate, the one you will spend the rest of your life with, in high school? Terribly unlikely. Efforts are universally best spent elsewhere. In fact, if you are pursuing sustainable true love in the halls of AHS, I suggest you instead fly to California and search for it in Death Valley, where you will have a greater chance of success. 

If you are so overly optimistic as to think you have found someone- you have not- you have effectively hammered the final nail to your coffin that seals your fate alongside every other teenager in history who believed exactly the same thing, only to experience heartbreak.

You will exuberantly spend tons of money on this person. With a constant stream of money flowing from your bank account, it is difficult to remember all the places where it goes. Thankfully, I have created a memorable and fitting acronym to help- GAG: gifts, appetite, gas. In other words, presents you buy, meals you pay for, and your means of transportation. All that for who? Pedro from guitar class?

This money would instead be best put to more practical use. Perhaps sign up for cooking classes. Or buy a new phone. Or a new pet cat.

You will also spend a tremendous amount of mental energy, itself a rare commodity, on this person. After that initial fleeting period of happiness known affectionately as the honeymoon era, it is a downhill spiral to doom. Soon after, worry, anxiety, and doubt. Then, fatigue and exhaustion. The boredom. Then anger and frustration. And finally, sadness, guilt, and regret.

This mental energy would also instead be best put to more practical use. Perhaps your college applications. Or investing in stocks. Or making skin cancer treating soap like that kid from Woodson.

Out of all the high school relationships I have observed, witnessed, or known, very very very few have survived. All that time, effort, and money, down the drain. In short? Break up now, while you’re still happy.